


Is It Wrong?

by thunderingskies



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-05
Updated: 2016-05-05
Packaged: 2018-06-06 14:09:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6757300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderingskies/pseuds/thunderingskies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes Oikawa would wonder about Kageyama. What he was getting up to – how he managed to grow and flourish after the time they spent together.</p><p>He would let the feeling go after a while, though, because that part of his life was over.</p><p>Fate is funny that way, because one morning when he and Iwaizumi were coming home after grabbing some groceries to make a late breakfast, the apartment adjacent to theirs was wide open, some boxes piled up next to the door.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Is It Wrong?

For as long as Oikawa could remember, it had always been him and Iwaizumi.

 

Friends, partners. A support system. Iwaizumi was there when Oikawa had to be rushed to the hospital after a bad fall on his knee. Oikawa was there when Iwaizumi’s dog was hit by a car.

 

Every important event in Oikawa’s life was illuminated by Iwaizumi.

 

It all began when they were young. The pair met on a brisk morning in the spring when they were just six years old. New to Miyagi, Iwaizumi had joined his mother when she went off for a morning stroll, intent on learning about her new neighbourhood. The Iwaizumi family had moved when Iwaizumi’s father decided that he wanted out of his busy practice in Tokyo, opting for the quieter, calmer Miyagi.

 

Oikawa remembered that day well. His mother had gotten him out of bed far earlier than he would have liked. He was never a morning person, even before he had to use coffee to get his motor running. She insisted on bringing him with her when she left the house – Oikawa’s father was away, as he often was for business, which left Oikawa, his mother and older sister, who was allowed to blissfully sleep the morning away because she was older (and more responsible).

 

Oikawa was always clingy, and as usual, he clung tightly to his mother’s side. His hand bunched the fabric of her skirt as they walked, his mother talking softly to him but he wasn’t really listening. Unlike the confident, boisterous teen he grew up to be, Oikawa was a shy child. He buried his face against her leg every time they walked past anybody, until they abruptly stopped. Oikawa could hear his mother talking and he peeked up to see who she was talking to.

 

It was another woman that Oikawa didn’t know. She had soft brown eyes and raven hair, and it appeared that she was deep in conversation with his mother. There weren’t a whole lot of women in the area around her age, so the two struck up a friendship almost immediately. Oikawa didn’t listen to a word they were saying, but he let his eyes travel down, away from the woman’s face and to her side.

 

There was a child there.

 

Oikawa’s first instinct was to hide again, but he only got halfway before realizing the kid was looking back at him with the same wary expression he was sure he wore. The boy looked a little rough – he had a band-aid stuck over the bridge of his nose, one on his right arm and another on his left knee. He had spiky black hair and narrow chocolate eyes, one of his own hands gripping on his mother’s pant leg.

 

“Oh, Tooru!” Oikawa looked up at the sound of his mother’s voice. “Say hello to Mrs. Iwaizumi and her son Hajime.”

 

 _Hajime…_ so that was the boys name. He looked back down to the boy across from him and smiled weakly, not letting go of his mother’s skirt.

 

“Hello…” His voice was quiet, barely audible, but the kid across from him must have heard it because he offered him a huge, cheesy grin.

 

“Hey, dummy!”

 

After that, they spent all of their free time together.

 

Iwaizumi would force a bug net into Oikawa’s hands, ignoring his cries about how the bugs were all “super gross and wiggly, Iwa-chan!” dragging him into the forest by their house to spend long afternoons in the summer catching (and releasing, whenever Oikawa got one) bugs.

 

Oikawa would beg and beg for Iwaizumi to play volleyball with him, tossing a white and green ball into the air repeatedly until Iwaizumi finally agreed (“You can put your brutish tendencies to good use, Iwa-chan!”)

 

They grew.

 

They grew, and they grew, and they grew.

 

Oikawa shed his shy, quiet appearance, growing tall, and strong, with a wide smile and bright eyes. (“Stop with that fake smile, Oikawa – I can always tell.”)

 

Iwaizumi grew into himself, gaining confidence, strength and an unlimited amount of patience in dealing with his boisterous best friend. (“No, Iwa-chan, you grew again?! You need to slow down at the gym, you’re getting way too built! You better stay my ugly Iwa-chan! I can’t be fighting off competition!”)

 

They trained, they played, and they fought. It wasn’t easy, but their bond seemed unbreakable. They always had what they needed in each other.

 

\---

 

It was into his teenage years when Oikawa really started to feel the pressure.

 

He was skilled – there was no arguing that. Even in middle school, he had a control over the game unmatched by any of his peers. His ability to read a match, understand his teammates and his opponents, and serve a ball…

 

However, every time he would serve a volleyball, he began to hear the voices of those around him. Talking, whispering, about _him._

 

_I mean he’s good and all, but he’s no genius._

_He’s already hitting his peak. There’s no way he will keep this up._

_Look – there’s already someone younger than him who has so much more potential!_

 

It stung.

 

It fucking hurt like hell, because he _worked_ , he worked so fucking hard and for what?

 

He took his frustrations out in volleyball.

 

Serve after serve, he would practice until his feet ached and his hands were numb. His fingers would shake, breaths coming out in short pants.

 

It wasn’t enough – it was _never_ enough.

 

He always could feel Iwaizumi watching, noting how much he practiced. How many jump serves he’d done each night. It was a lot – too much – Iwaizumi didn’t like it, but he didn’t say anything. He would just bring him water and drag him out of the gym when it was getting to be too late.

 

Until finally, he broke.

 

One bad fall was all it took and Iwaizumi had to carry him out of the gym, into their coach’s car where they drove him to the hospital.

 

Iwaizumi held him while he cried.

 

“I’m so sorry Iwa-chan,” he wailed, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry… you told me to stop… and I d-didn’t listen…”

 

“Shut up, you idiot,” Iwaizumi grunted gruffly, holding Oikawa painfully close. “Just shut up. We’re almost at the hospital.”

 

He had his first panic attack that day, terrified he would not be able to play volleyball ever again.

 

Oikawa felt like he had been given years of his life back when the doctor told him _you can play volleyball again._

 

\---

 

Oikawa improved. He changed his attitude. Stopped pushing himself so hard – and holding himself to such high standards. It was not always easy, but he worked at it. And when he fell, he had Iwaizumi to help pick him back up.

 

It went both ways. When Iwaizumi made the decision that he wasn’t going to go to college, Oikawa was there to support him. He had taken a job during the summer as a firefighter – with the intent on earning money to pay for school – only to find that this was something he really enjoyed doing. It was hard work, and dangerous, but he felt complete doing it. He felt _right._

 

They sat together on the beach during a windy evening, bodies sat close together. Out of nowhere, Oikawa gasped, suddenly coming to a stark realization.

 

“Iwa-chan,” he whispered, bringing a hand up to touch Iwaizumi’s face. The dark haired man looked at him quizzically, but let him finish. “Iwa-chan, I… I… I think I love you.”

 

His eyes wide with realization, Oikawa looked as though he were finally discovering colour for the first time. His eyes shone, bright smile on his face as he brought himself a little bit closer to Iwaizumi.

 

“I think I’ve always loved you, Iwa-chan…”

 

Iwaizumi just laughed, ruffling his hair. “I know that, you idiot.”

 

“You do!?” Oikawa gaped. “Iwa-chan, can you read my mind?!”

 

“Yes,” he whispered, grinning comically. “I know what you’re going to do next.”

 

“No way!”

 

“Yeah. You’re gonna kiss me.”

 

“Iwa-chan, you’re freaking me out.”

 

“Just shut up and kiss me, stupid.”

 

And so Oikawa did.

 

\---

 

Sometimes Oikawa would wonder about Kageyama. What he was getting up to – how he managed to grow and flourish after the time they spent together.

 

He considered, many times, looking him up on social media, but always managed to talk himself out of it.

 

Every few months he’d stop, pondering, and take a moment to remember how he had treated him.

 

He wanted to apologize, because it wasn’t Kageyama’s fault that he flared up Oikawa’s anxiety. It wasn’t his fault that he was a genius; a natural.

 

He would let the feeling go, after a while, though, because that part of his life was over.

 

Or so he thought.

 

Fate is funny that way, because one morning when he was coming home after grabbing some groceries to make some food, the apartment adjacent to theirs was wide open, some boxes piled up next to the door.

 

“Iwa-chan!” He laughed, breathlessly, one arm holding on to Iwaizumi for support as he was laughing so hard. “Iwa-chan, you were so cute-“

 

Iwaizumi stopped, causing Oikawa to nearly tumble over.

 

“Hey, Iwa-chan, it’s rude to…”

 

“Kageyama,” Iwaizumi said, looking into the open apartment across from them. Oikawa raised his eyes, looking across the room.

 

And there he was.

 

Steel-blue eyes staring at them, mouth open with surprise.

 

He had certainly grown up in the four years it had been since Oikawa had seen him. He was taller now – almost as tall as Oikawa. He had filled out, more toned and defined than he had been in high school.

 

“Iwaizumi…” Kageyama still looked shocked. “And Oikawa.”

 

The sight of Kageyama had been a shock for Oikawa. He honestly had not expected to see him again. Clearly, the feeling was mutual, with the shocked look that Kageyama was giving him.

 

“Tobio-chan…” Oikawa offered a small smile. It was all he could do to contain the flow of emotions he felt. All those old, ugly feelings he felt in middle school threatened to break out, but so did the feeling of pride he felt, watching him beat Shiratorizawa, the joy he felt in helping him realize what he needed to do to be a setter.

 

“What are you doing here?” Kageyama asked, incredulously. Oikawa just laughed.

 

“Oh, Tobio-chan! We live here, silly. I’m guessing you do now, too?” His voice an octave higher than usual, Iwaizumi giving him a sideways glance that he paid no mind to.

 

“Yeah… This apartment complex is pretty close to my school, so…” His voice dropped off, as he stared at the duo who just stared back at him.

 

Iwaizumi finally broke the silence. “Looks like we’re neighbours.”

 

\---

 

As Oikawa discovered in the following weeks, Kageyama was still socially awkward as ever.

 

It was weird, though – he found it cute. Endearing.

 

It began slowly.

 

They would invite Kageyama over for dinner when Oikawa made way too much pasta, yet again.

 

Kageyama would blast his music way too loud, until Iwaizumi finally went over and brought him a coffee to help him stay awake while studying for a midterm.

 

Iwaizumi would invite Kageyama over to help him endure another of Oikawa’s movie marathons.

 

Oikawa would tease Kageyama every time when he came over to check on Oikawa when Iwaizumi was out of town for work.

 

\---

 

They talked. They talked about their likes and dislikes, their favourite television shows and what they liked to eat for breakfast.

 

Oikawa apologized. They were sprawled across his and Iwaizumi’s shared living room; Kageyama and Oikawa on the couch, Iwaizumi on the floor across from them, thumbing through a book.

 

“I’m sorry, Tobio,” Oikawa said softly. It was heart-felt. These sorts of apologies did not come from Oikawa very often.

 

Kageyama looked up, surprised, as did Iwaizumi.

 

“W-Why?” His blue eyes showed concern, not sure what happened to warrant the apology.

 

“The way I treated you before… in middle school. I was under a lot of stress, and I took it out on you. You didn’t deserve that. You were – well, still are – a great player, and person. So. I’m sorry.”

 

They sat in silence for a few minutes, not saying anything. Kageyama stared at the floor, vehemently avoiding eye contact with anyone.

 

It was Iwaizumi who broke the silence, as always, cutting through any tension between them. “Wow, Tooru, your honest face isn’t very pretty.”

 

“Rude, Iwa-chan!”

 

\---

 

Oikawa began to notice things about Kageyama.

 

The way that he always hid his laughter under a hand.

 

The way he took things to heart, even the bad things, and yet he pretended like nothing bothered him.

 

The way that he blushed whenever Oikawa and Iwaizumi would kiss in front of him.

 

The way that his face turned, determined, whenever he was working at something really hard.

 

The look of pride on his face when Iwaizumi or Oikawa complimented him.

 

The blinding smile that made Oikawa weak at the knees.

 

It was confusing – he didn’t understand why he could feel these affections for the raven-haired man. His love for Iwaizumi didn’t diminish, not in the slightest. Neither did his lust for him.

 

Just to make sure, when they crawled into bed that night, Oikawa pressed his lips against Iwaizumi’s chest, hands exploring the familiar canvas before dipping below the waistband of his sweatpants.

 

No… His feelings remained ever strong.

 

\---

 

With Iwaizumi out of town, Oikawa wouldn’t dare admit how much he enjoyed Kageyama’s company. It felt nice, to not have the apartment filled with quiet.

 

“Tobio-chan,” Oikawa laughed, “Have you _really_ never seen this show before?!”

 

“No,” Kageyama replied, eyes wide as he watched the television with interest. “I don’t really watch a lot of TV, Oikawa.”

 

Oikawa paused. “You know; you can call me by my first name if you want.”

 

Kageyama turned, surprised. “Yeah?”

 

“Well yeah, I mean, I call you yours…”

 

Was Kageyama _blushing_? He was definitely blushing. Oikawa wanted to snap a picture to send to Iwaizumi, as he was sure he’d love this sight. “Okay, Tooru.”

 

Oikawa felt his cheeks heat up. Was he the one blushing now?

 

\---

 

They sat on Kageyama’s couch one Friday afternoon, nibbling on pieces of leftover pizza. It was Hawaiian – Iwaizumi’s favourite, which Oikawa had come to enjoy over the years, finally succumbing to a love of pineapples. He’d tell Iwaizumi it was a form of adaptation for survival, but Iwaizumi knew the truth. Kageyama didn’t complain, just traded bites that had pineapple with Oikawa, who had no problem sharing his cheesy slices.

 

They were curled up rather close, Oikawa resting his legs across Kageyama’s lap, declaring that it was much more comfortable that way. His back was pressed against Iwaizumi’s chest, allowing him to feel his heart beat.

 

Iwaizumi watched them, the gears in his mind working, but he said nothing.

 

For he was a patient man.

 

Oikawa grabbed another piece of pizza, stealing the television remote from Kageyama. He flipped through the channels, finally settling on one of his favourite stations where a new match of _Family Feud_ was starting up.

 

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa turned his face to Iwaizumi, “If you don’t hurry I’m gonna eat all this pizza. I don’t wanna hear your annoying whining about it!”

 

Iwaizumi flicked the side of his head, grabbing a slice of pizza from the box.

 

\---

 

Kageyama and Iwaizumi spent time alone together too.

 

It was fine – honestly, it really was. Oikawa wasn’t jealous. He knew Iwaizumi loved him.

 

So why did his heart sink when they came back to his apartment after spending an afternoon at the gym?

 

Or when they returned from an early morning jog, coffees in hand, laughing at an inside joke?

 

Oikawa couldn’t figure it out, sinking deeper into his thoughts with each passing day.

 

He began to wonder.

 

Was Kageyama going to be a replacement for him?

 

\---

 

“I think I like Tobio,” Iwaizumi whispered one morning as he pressed a kiss against the exposed skin of Oikawa’s back. The words were soft, whispered huskily in a sleep-addled voice.

 

“Oh?” Oikawa was almost afraid to press any more.

 

_But do you still have room in your heart for me?_

 

“Yeah,” Iwaizumi responded, breathing in deeply. He said nothing else – and neither did Oikawa – just laying together, warm, and breathing softly.

 

After a few minutes Iwaizumi got up, disappearing off into the kitchen.

 

That was the last they spoke of it for some time.

 

\---

 

Oikawa was happy that Iwaizumi and Kageyama got on so well – honestly, he really was. He loved seeing his boyfriend so relaxed around their junior. Kageyama and Oikawa got along well, too, of course. Kageyama would watch science fiction movies with him and didn’t make fun of him when he ordered silly desserts in restaurants, always sharing a bite of whatever he was having with Oikawa.

 

But the way he got along with Iwaizumi was so interesting to watch, so wonderful to see. He brought out a side of Iwaizumi that Oikawa hadn’t even realized was there.

 

Not the gentle side, per say; the side that would run his hands soothingly through Oikawa’s hair when he was sick, or carry him on his back when his feet hurt (“I told you, To, you need to wear better shoes”). No, Oikawa already was well-acquainted with this side.

 

It was a special side of him that Kageyama nursed. The side that would ruffle his hair when he got a good grade on an assignment for college. The side that would stay up with him, trying to work through some sort of theorem that neither of them understood in the first place. The side that would pull both Oikawa and Kageyama in for cuddles, grounding them, holding them together.

 

Oikawa always knew that Iwaizumi was his pillar, but he never considered that maybe he wasn’t able to do the same for him.

 

His thoughts began to escape him as he stepped out of the shower, grabbing a freshly-washed fluffy bath towel. He began to dry himself off, eyes glancing down his body, lips pursing. He wrapped the towel around his midle as he stepped over towards the mirror, looking at his reflection.

 

Iwaizumi was gone, would be for the next few days, for work. Oikawa knew that this was something Iwaizumi wanted to do – and damn, he was good at it – but the alone time was always hard. He dealt with it, though, like he always did. Today he was supposed to meet Kageyama for lunch. A tradition they’d started every Friday – but without Iwaizumi there to go with him, Oikawa wasn’t sure if he’d even bother. He doubted Kageyama would have as good a time if it were just the two of them.

 

He rubbed some lotion on his face, eyes taking in the dark circles under his eyes. He hadn’t slept well. He hadn’t been sleeping well, not since he realized how good Kageyama was for Iwaizumi.

 

His hands gripped tightly on to the sink, knuckles turning white as he closed his eyes. He tried to force himself to calm down – he couldn’t freak out now, not with Iwaizumi gone, but his body seemed to react on its own.

 

 _They don’t need you anymore, you know_ , the voice in his head spoke. It was louder than usual. _Now Iwaizumi can have a better boyfriend._

 

“They do!” Oikawa argued, curling into a tight ball. He tried to focus on something, _anything_ , desperate to quell the uneasy feeling in his stomach and the mean thoughts in his head. He didn’t have them too often – as he got older, he developed skills to keep himself grounded, to keep his bad thoughts at bay.

 

 _I bet that Kageyama wouldn’t keep Iwaizumi up all night just because he has a bad dream,_ the voice spoke. _Especially not when he has to work the next day._

 

“He didn’t mind… He never does…” Oikawa sniffled, picking at the skin around his nails. He couldn’t stop the thoughts – not this time.

 

_I bet that Kageyama wouldn’t call Iwaizumi every night when he’s away, just because he’s lonely!_

 

“He misses me too…”

_I bet that Kageyama won’t be such a burden to Iwaizumi! Always needing him to do this and that, pick you up and hold you steady. He doesn’t come with all your baggage._

 

At some point he’d started to cry, silently, quiet tears dripping down his face. He curled further up into himself, body shaking violently now as everything seemed to blur, blending away. His heart raced, his body temperature shot up and he started to sweat.

 

The last thing Oikawa remembered was trying to focus on steadying his breathing as everything around him seemed to slip away in a blur.

 

\---

 

Oikawa blearily opened his eyes.

 

He was fine. This was okay.

 

He was shaking, but this was totally fine.

 

His body shook heavily as he tried to focus his vision. His vision was blurry from a lack of glasses or contacts, but he managed to focus in.

 

He was still in the bathroom, on the floor.

 

Why was it so dark?

 

He blinked, looking up towards the window where no light shone in. It must have been late. How long had he been here?

 

Why was he even here?

 

Oikawa tried to rouse himself up into a sitting position, leaning heavily against the porcelain tub for support. He breathed in slowly, long, heavy breaths until a loud bang startled him.

 

There were three loud, sharp bangs that came from another room.

  
What was that?

 

“Tooru!” A voice cried out, heavy with emotion. “Tooru, if you’re in there, please open the door!”

 

Oikawa stayed frozen in place. That was Kageyama’s voice. Why was he here?

 

Blinking heavily, he remembered that he was supposed to meet Kageyama for lunch today, down at the café they both liked. It was mostly sweet food, nothing that Iwaizumi really liked, so they saved it for when it was just the two of them.

 

The banging continued, and Oikawa stayed frozen in place. There was no way he could face Kageyama right now.

 

He was still shaking, but it was totally okay. 100% not a big deal.

 

“Tooru! I-“ Kageyama’s voice was cut off, and he spoke in a quieter tone now. “I’m sorry, I know it’s late.” It must have been a neighbour complaining.

 

That did the trick though, because Kageyama’s footsteps disappeared, down the hall and into his own apartment. Oikawa heard the door slam shut and he let out a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding.

 

He struggled to his feet. His entire body felt weak, like he had just finished running a marathon. His legs barely held up under his weight, and he had to lean heavily against the wall in order to keep himself upright. His knee ached from being curled up for so long.

 

He had to find his phone – figure out what time it was. He knew he had some time, with Iwaizumi out of town until Sunday, but he also knew that if Kageyama was panicking that there was a good chance he’d already called Iwaizumi.

 

Shakily, Oikawa made his way to the living room, collapsing down on the couch. Breathing heavily, he reached for his phone and – fuck. It was dead. He fumbled for his charger, plugged it in and let the phone power up.

 

He picked at his nails nervously as it began to power up.

 

It flicked on, showing his lock screen. He nervously typed in his password and waited as the messages flooded in.

 

_16 missed calls._

_26 text messages._

 

Oikawa’s heart raced as he checked through them. Mostly Kageyama – but two calls from Iwaizumi as well. He flicked through the text messages.

 

 **Tobio:** Hey sorry I might be a bit late, my professor is being a dick

 **Tobio:** I’m omw

 **Tobio:** Tooru?

 **Tobio:** Is everything ok?

 **Tobio:** Where are you?

 **Tobio:** What’s going on?

 **Tobio:** I’m worried please call me

 **Tobio:** Tooru

 **Tobio:** What’s going on?

 

Oikawa paused, throwing his phone down and burying his face in the couch cushions.

 

He fucked up.

 

If Iwaizumi and Kageyama weren’t already ready to get rid of him, they would be now.

 

\---

 

At some point, Oikawa fell back asleep. He awoke, still trembling slightly, curled up tightly on the couch.

 

Sunlight streamed in the window next to him, alerting him that it was daytime.

 

He needed to go. He needed to go before Iwaizumi came home. How could he face him like this?

 

Oikawa tried to push himself up, to no avail. His entire body ached, from nerves and the emotions. He felt wrecked.

 

He steeled himself, trying to force himself not to cry as a banging on the door shook him.

 

“Tooru.” This time it wasn’t Kageyama. “I need you to open the door now.”

 

 _Hajime?_ Oikawa rubbed his eyes, stepping closer to the door. What was he doing here? Why was he home already-

 

“Please, Tooru,” it was Kageyama now and he sounded awful. Oikawa could hear the emotion in his voice – it sounded hoarse from crying. He couldn’t face him, couldn’t after he’d made him worry like that. “I just need to know you’re okay, alright? I don’t care if you don’t want to see me anymore, I don’t care, okay, I just need to know you’re okay.”

 

Kageyama was scared?

 

That Oikawa wouldn’t want him?

 

Emotion bubbled up in his chest, because he realized how this must have felt for Kageyama. He was walking into a long-term, pre-established relationship. Oikawa and Iwaizumi had been together most of their lives.

 

That had to be scary.

 

Oikawa swallowed, but his legs wouldn’t move.

 

“Tooru,” It was Iwaizumi again, “Now, please. I don’t want to have to break down the door.”

 

Oikawa could hear some shuffling on the other side. Kageyama’s muffled “Can’t you use your key?” and Iwaizumi’s huffed response of “No, he locked the deadbolt.” They argued quietly and Oikawa forced himself to stand up.

 

They were trying so hard. There was no way he could not respond.

 

He lifted a hand, gingerly unlocking the door. The hallway felt silent.

 

He clicked unlocked the deadbolt, standing back as his hand twisted the door knob.

 

The door opened. Oikawa had no time to even process who was on the other side of the door before he was tackled to the ground, pulled into a tight bear hug.

 

“I-I was s-so worried,” Kageyama hiccupped, burying his face against Oikawa’s shoulder.

 

He was shaking too.

 

Oikawa sat limp for a moment, before forcing his limbs to move. His arms encircled Kageyama – was he always so small? – holding on to him tightly, his face buried in dark locks of hair.

 

“I was s-so scared you’d left,” Kageyama cried into his shoulder, “I d-didn’t know where to look…” He took in a few shaky breaths, refusing to let up his grip on Oikawa.

 

Like he was scared he might leave again.

 

“Come on, you two.” It was Iwaizumi, but even he couldn’t hide the emotion in his voice. He shut and locked the door behind him, crouching down to wrap his arms around both of them. So strong, he lifted them up, sliding one of Oikawa’s arms around his neck for leverage, one hand wrapping around his waist, the other holding on to Kageyama. The youngest refused to let go of Oikawa, and together they stumbled for the bedroom.

 

Iwaizumi carefully dropped Oikawa and Kageyama on the bed, taking a step back to remove his work clothes. He slid into bed in his t-shirt and boxers, propping up some pillows as he leaned against the headboard.

 

“Come here,” he said softly, hands reaching out. Kageyama took a hand, curling to one side of Iwaizumi. He fit like he was meant to be there, one leg sliding over Iwaizumi’s, face burying in his chest.

 

Oikawa could finally see.

 

He could see how Iwaizumi’s presence calmed Kageyama, just as it did for him.

 

He could see how Iwaizumi, always perpetually cold, leaned into Kageyama’s warm body.

 

But most importantly, he could see that there was still room for _him._

 

Oikawa sobbed, holding on to Iwaizumi’s hand as he allowed his body to be pulled on to the familiar expanse of his chest. He let a hand slide around Iwaizumi, his other reaching across his chest, seeking out the warmth of Kageyama, who intertwined their fingers together.

 

And he cried.

 

Cried from the guilt of making the two people he cared about most cry.

 

Cried because he let his insecurities win.

 

Most importantly, he cried because of the overwhelming love he felt.

 

He cried until he had no more tears to give and collapsed, exhausted, into a deep sleep.

 

\---

 

“He was really worried about you, you know,” Iwaizumi whispered softly, his fingers running gently over the expanse of Kageyama’s back. The youngest was asleep soundly, his face buried against Iwaizumi’s chest. The rise and fall of his chest was steady, relaxing. Oikawa stirred, eyes blinking open. He had been awake for a little while now, just listening to Iwaizumi’s heart beat. “He called me, in a frenzy.”

 

Oikawa felt his breath hitch. He felt a lot of emotions run through him. Guilt… Surprise… Happiness. Why did he feel so happy that Kageyama cared for him, too?

 

No – the real question was how could he have not seen his love in the first place?

 

Kageyama, who spent an entire weekend learning how to make milk bread just to give to Oikawa when he was sad, telling him that “buying it just isn’t the same”. Kageyama, who sat through all four of the _Alien_ movies at Oikawa’s request, never complaining despite the fact that they obviously terrified him. Kageyama, who would run his fingers through Oikawa’s hair and massage his temples, just the way he had seen Iwaizumi do, whenever he had a migraine. Kageyama, who looked at him with such a look of respect and trust.

 

Kageyama, who showed him that he loved _him_ in so many different ways.

 

“Of course,” Iwaizumi let out a breathy chuckle, “There wasn’t anywhere else. I knew that you wouldn’t leave home.” His face hardened as he bit his lip.

 

Oikawa watched him – he knew Iwaizumi was not a man of many words, and that speaking of his emotions could be hard, so he didn’t interrupt. He waited, patiently.

 

“I’m sorry.” Iwaizumi blinked, and Oikawa realized he was holding back tears. “I should have understood… I should have _seen_. I love you so much, Tooru, nobody could ever replace that.”

 

Iwaizumi took in a deep breath, not done, as his arm squeezed around Oikawa. “Is it wrong? That I love both of you?” His voice fell, and Oikawa realized. He was _scared_.

 

He wasn’t alone – Kageyama and Iwaizumi were just as scared as he was.

 

This was scary.

 

It was new.

 

It was hard enough being in a relationship with one other person – but two?

 

He had no idea how they were supposed to make this work.

 

What would they tell their families? Their friends? Co-workers?

 

Some people shunned them for being gay – being poly was something else completely.

 

But it wasn’t wrong.

 

It was just _them_.

 

Oikawa felt his chest swell.

 

He loved them.

 

 _They_ loved _him_.

 

“No,” Oikawa whispered, pressing his lips against Iwaizumi’s neck. “No. I’m sorry. I should have talked to you… when I started feeling bad… I just. I hate that I burden you all the time with this.”

 

“Burden me?” Iwaizumi’s voice was loud, causing Kageyama to stir, before he reined it in and spoke more softly. “Nothing you could ever do could burden me, Tooru. I love you… I love you so much… You’re everything to me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Iwaizumi pressed a kiss to Oikawa’s forehead, relishing in his warmth when he nuzzled against him. “It’s not just me helping you, you know. You’re always there for me… You always know when I need to talk and never interrupt me… You helped me figure out what I wanted to do with my life… every night that I come home, no matter if I’ve been away for five days or two hours, you always remind me how loved I am.”

 

“I’m sorry too…” Kageyama spoke quietly, clearly having just been listening. “I knew something was off, but I didn’t bring it up.”

 

Oikawa blinked away tears, a smile burning on his face. The connection and love he shared with Iwaizumi was so different than the one he shared with Kageyama, and the one they shared with each other. They were unique – but that was how it was supposed to be, wasn’t it? They complimented each other in various ways, yet somehow came together as a balanced whole.

 

“It’s okay. We’re okay.” Iwaizumi held them close, as always, their pillar.

 

“I love you, Hajime, Tobio,” Oikawa smiled as he pressed a kiss to Iwaizumi’s cheek, then the top of Kageyama’s head.

 

“Love you too,” they both responded, smiling.

 

It would never be easy.

 

But they loved each other, and that was what mattered the most.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I'm not entirely convinced this isn't trash, but after I sat down and spent 4 hours or so on this I figured that it deserved more than to sit in the abyss of my computer.
> 
> Thanks for reading! <3 Please let me know your thoughts! I love these three, and wanted to try and write a little bit about them.
> 
> Let me know if you'd like me to write a chapter 2 with smut in the comments! :)


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